To Give More Than To Receive

It is coming to the end of the year. Another year of ups and downs. Another year of laughter and tears. Doing reflection of what I had on my resolution list earlier this year, I was pondering on my level of achievement. Resolution to lose weight certainly was no where close. But I remember that my absolute resolution this year was to give more than to receive. I had to remind myself constantly that it is important to be grateful for every little things I have or do not have in life. It is always easier said than done.

There are things that happened in the past that has changed the person I am. I know I have to move on from this fateful incident and I believe that I have. A part of me will always remained shattered reasoning why I do not have the courage to see you eye to eye like those days. I pray that one day this will change but for starters here is my take on giving more. Gift of forgiveness and peace offering.

"27th December 2014. Heartiest congratulations to you both as you mark your journey together. Well wishes and many more happiness from me sincerely from the bottom of my heart.

Forgive me that I could not present myself to be there to celebrate this happy and joyful day. I still do not have the guts to face you both, though there is no room for any hatred and vengeance in my heart. Surely there was anger, hurt and pain initially but I have learned the fact that these are all part of God's greater plan for everyone. Likesaid, blood is thicker than water. Know that you have you my blessings."

I look forward to a better year in 2015 and the curtains draws down for stage 2014. Many good things await for those who believe. Have faith and keep on believing.

Yours truly.

Love is a Verb

I know I have been gone for a while. Anyway anyhow, enjoy this passage I adopted from a friend in Facebook.

At one seminar where I was speaking on the concept of proactivity vs reactivity, a man came up to me and said, “I like what you are saying. But every situation is so different. Look at my marriage. I’m really worried. My wife and I just don’t have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don’t love her anymore and she doesn’t love me. What can I do?”


“The feeling isn’t there anymore?” I asked.


“That’s right.” he reaffirmed. “And we have three children we’re really concerned about. What do you suggest?”


“Love her,” I replied.


“I told you, the feeling just isn’t there anymore.”


“Love her.”


“You don’t understand. The feeling of love just isn’t there.”


Then love her. If the feeling isn’t there, that’s a good reason to love her.”


But how do you love when you don’t love?”


“My friend, love is a verb. Love — the feeling — is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her.
Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”

In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They’re driven by feelings. Hollywood has generally scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, that we are a product of our feelings. But the Hollywood script does not describe the reality. If our feelings control our actions, it is because we abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so.


Proactive people make love a verb, Love is something you do: the sacrifice you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, not expecting anything in return and even for people who offend, turns the coldest shoulder or do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrificed for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions.

Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured.

- Covey, S.

Fear

I am in a transition period of my life now where a new phase is about to begin. I will be starting to work soon. There is so much fear of the many possibilities in the future, the unforeseen possibilities to be exact.

How will work turn out to be?
How will my colleagues be like?
How would my life change?
How long does it take before I reach where I wanna be in my career path?
How would I save money?
How would I arrange my time?

Questions over questions running wild in my head. On top of this, there are other personal matters that bother my mind a lot too. So, if you were to ask me how am I now, I would tell you I am okay (but definitely I could have been better). I guess this is one phase that everyone goes through. Part and parcel of life they say. But as much as I am aware of what is going on, the mind and heart just won't cooperate. Ironic.
 

Rain

It has been quite some time since I last updated eh? I am very much alive here :) Been busy with family back home here and I am just feeling lazy every day.

It's 10am right now and I woke up to the rain outside pouring. It has been going on for hours and hours since last night. I curled up under my blanket and tried to force myself to go back to sleep. Afterall, it is the perfect weather to snuggle under the thick comforter. Somehow, the rain dampens my heart today. Since yesterday to be exact. I turned melancholy.

Many things have been bothering my mind lately. I have not been the person I used to be. I look forward to the days where I can tell myself there will be rainbows after rain. The sun will come out tomorrow. It is so funny that the mind knows what you should do yet the heart refuse to listen. Often they say listen to your heart. It is always easy to say one thing yet to do another.

Trust. Faith. Believe. Those are the things I need the most right now. I need them badly. Is there any potion for these available for sale anywhere? :)

At the mean time, I will be just right here. I will wait for the sun to come out. I will wait for a brighter day. I will wait for the prayers to be answered. Keeping hope in my heart, I will be right here waiting.