May May Be Good

Hello peeps.

How are you fella doing there? April left and here comes May. As for the the Sabahans, it would be whole month of celebration of the upcoming Harvest Festival at the end of the month. Oh yes, one whole month of drinking celebration. I am yet to be back in my chamber. Currently residing in a friend's home thanks to her and her family's kindness. Or else, I would have to merempat at some kaki lima along the dirty streets of Kajang or claim ownership of the tv room in my block. Thank you very much much for the kindness and may the good Lord shower bless you and your family abundantly. You know who you are :)

I have nothing new or interesting in my life minus the fact that I finished my last examination paper in my whole university years. Not feeling melancholy bout it, yet. I still have my research project presentation this coming Thursday and that would really be the time to put the curtain down on the stage. Before heading back home, I will be doing a pit stop at Singapore to join my parents who are visiting my little brother there. Meeting up the cousins and auntie and uncle from Aussie too! :) Blood is always thicker than water. I am grateful for my family, not only my nucleus family but the entire family. Ah, let me not get carried away.

And so, wish me luck for my presentation. If you have been following me, you should remember that I was assigned to a very strict lecturer as the examiner for my paper. I need all the luck I can get. Fold me cranes and fill my room with em'. Imaginary paper fold cranes also can. 

So here comes May. Please be kind. I am going back somewhere mid of this month and I am looking forward to be at home. Would love to stay at home longer than I usually do before I venture out to the working world again. So, I seek for a whole good month of May and the many coming months. Hold on, did I not ask for that every month? Haha!

Stay tuned. Lots of love from yours truly.
 
  

When life take you by SURPRISE

I have to say, today is not one good day. It was not a bad day for me but the whole day just seem so gruesome, generally. It rained the whole day. Drizzles changed to heavy downpour and it drizzles again. Wet wet day indeed. Not that I am complaining bout the weather but it does feel pretty gloomy. The day didn't get any better with the news of an acquaintance who passed away this morning. Definitely a shocking news.

News about the earthquake that hits Japan in the early of the day started to flood the newsfeed all across the globe. Buildings, boats, cars and many others got swept away by the tsunami that the earthquake triggered.  Not long ago, it was Christchurch. Now, Japan. As if this is not enough, other countries gets tsunami warning following the disaster happened in Tokyo (Japan). Apparently, even my hometown which is the west coast of Sabah (Kota Kinabalu) is warned with high rise of sea level and huge waves. This just made me more upset through the day having to worry bout friends and family back home. I pray that everything will be alright. Please, be safe. Please please please. 

Honestly, when I found out bout the news bout this acquaintance of mine, I was out of words. Though I was not close to him, my mind went blank for some time and I was wondering what has happened to him. I didn't get to know what was the cause till later of the day. It was heart attack. Mind you, he is just as old as I am. Heart attack? I couldn't register it in my brain. I then thought to myself, life is so short. There are so many random things that come knocking on your door surprising you every now and then. Just like this guy, there are many times that I wanted to chat with him on facebook whenever I see him online to catch up.Yet, I never bother to do so, giving myself reason there is always next time. Now, I would never get the chance to do it anymore since there is no more next time. He is not around for the non existence next time anymore. My heart sunk. I have to say that at this age, I do not expect to receive news of death bout my friend/s especially those who are just around my age. Not when you didn't even see it coming. This is not my first time and it surely sucks. It just proves how life can be so......unpredictable. 

  

What are Words

2011 American Idol castoff Chris Medina - the guy who touched everyone's hearts and possibly made us shed a little tear with his heartbreaking love story about his girlfriend who currently suffers from brain injury due to a car accident - is the first example of the new partnership between American Idol and Universal Music Group. Chris Medina has been given the opportunity to release his debut single online. "What Are Words" which hit iTunes on February 24th is a beautiful ballad, inspired in his AI story, written by Rodney "Darkchild" Jerkins.

Go search for his video in youtube. Lazy wanna embed it here. The video is simply touching. Couldn't agree more with the lyrics. The songs has been playing in my head that I have been humming it since I heard it. Anyhow, here's the lyrics:

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

:') Meaningful, no?

   

Bye bye February

It seems like it is only yesterday that I came back to uni to resume my study. It seems only yesterday that I was back home with my family for Chinese New Year celebration. Like it or not, I have to bid farewell to February while March is playing peek-a-boo with me now. My my, how time flies. Two months of the new year is gone without me realizing it.

Many things happened since the last time I wrote. Lets just be grateful for the good things that has happened. After all, good or bad stuff, they all happen for reasons that I know I might not be able to foresee now. Yes, trying to be optimistic here *getting rid of those negative vibe*.

#1 Went back home for Chinese New Year (CNY) there is no other place better than home. Bonus part would be the aunties and uncles and cousins all gathered round for this auspicious celebration.

#2 Cousin came over from KK and I had the most awesome time with her during those days of spending time together. Reminds me how much we used to do every little or big silly things together. She is definitely the sister that I never get to have. Love you soooooo much!! :')

#3 The comfortable stay :)

#5 Had enough japanese food to last me for...... Nah, I take that back. Don't think I will get sick of em' ;)

#6 Met up with another cousin coming all the way from KK! Very much thanks to the cheap air tickets nowadays I think? Orange or red or blue, thank you the very much for bringing us all closer together! :) South China Sea doesn't seem to be such a big barrier anymore thanks to you guys! :P

#7 Have I mentioned that I love green tea ice cream so much? :) Didn't get to take picture of the best one around I've taste which comes from Renaissance Hotel (Temptation Cafe, I think?) :(

#8 Attended CSSUKM annual dinner for this year with the theme "Fever Night". Yes, I love my dress too, many thanks to Allison for lending it to me!! <3

Aside from those above, I am just busy working on my thesis. Not progressing well. I could say that one third of it is done but I am not proud of that. Hmph! Praying hard I can finish it soon despite the many procrastination! Oh, I am also down with flu and blocked nose! Annoying much? Sigh.

To end this post, BYE BYE FEBRUARY! See you next year! Oh, Mr March, please be kind to me? Pretty pretty please?

Till then, keep coming back here! :)

Big tight from yours truly.
   

Dedication For You

7th July was the date I boarded the plane back to Kuala Lumpur to settle my registration for my master in UKM. My itinerary stated my flight departs at 6.05am and I was in the airport way earlier, say 5.10am. I was so sleepy due to the lack of sleep from the late night. No, I was not watching FIFA World Cup of Uruguay VS Netherlands match. I couldn't sleep that night as I was tossing myself on the bed, up and down, left and right. I was afraid with the uncertainties ahead of me. How will life turn out when I am back in UKM doing my master? I was already missing home that very moment. I was reluctant to board the plane that yet to board during that hour. 

And so, that Wednesday morning when I waited in the boarding hall while waiting for the announcement to board the plane bound for Kuala Lumpur. I reached out to my phone and logged into facebook just to update myself with statuses. I was shocked with one status that I instantly woke up from my drowsiness - the dismiss of a friend. What a day to kickstart my day! I was already expecting the worst of the day from the registration. The news definitely didn't make my day any better. The news was worse than the worst that I expected. That moment, the only thing that crossed my mind: Life is full of surprises. Life is full of uncertainties. 

I have known this girl for a couple of years. 3 years to be exact. It was three years ago when I entered one of my class that this girl sat next to me started talking to me. She was wearing a pink cap and she looks sweet in it. I wondered why was she wearing that cap but I didn't bother to ask why. We started talking and I found out that she was not the same age as the rest of us. She was a year older than my batch of coursemates. Again, I wondered but I didn't ask much. That was the day I met this wonderful girl. Apparently, she was postponed her study previously and she is continuing her study with us now. 

This same girl uses the same pink cap to class everyday. I noticed she had no hair underneath her cap and I figured she was sick. One day, I found out from other friends that she  has cancer. She had surgery to remove growth in her head and she uses the cap while waiting for her hair to grow back to cover the hole she has on her temples. During rare occasions, she uses wig and she looks so sweet and pretty. She had a very sweet smile. She was getting better and improving. Hair started to grow back and she looks like any other girl on the street. The greatest things I find in her would be her cheerfulness and helpful. She was the kind girl who would offer anyone any help, from giving you a ride to arranging the photocopying of textbooks for the entire class. Mind you. THE.WHOLE.CLASS. She wouldn't ask for anything extra nor expects anything in return. She is such a cheerful friendly girl that practically everyone is her friend.

As I entered the second year of my degree class, I see her less often due to the different classes we have (we are in two different courses). I didn't notice that she was not around the uni until a friend pointed it out that fact to me. I was then told that her health was deteriorating again and her condition got worse than before. Apparently, not many knew about it as she didn't want to worry anyone. She had to stop her study again. No updates about her were received until two days ago. I was not very close to her but she definitely showed me lots of things. I truly admired this girl. She was so strong and optimistic throughout the years of fighting her sickness. There were hidden struggles under those sweet smile she shares with us. 

Suddenly, I felt my problems or uncertainties are insignificant anymore. What are my worries compared to hers? What are my difficulties compared to hers? And many others in the world who has greater problems.  Life is full of surprises. Every now and then. Till this day, I still couldn't digest that news. Being young doesn't keep you away from death. I know I see news of young people dying everyday but it has never occur to anyone I knew. One thing for sure, her courage will be a true inspiration for those uncertainties ahead of me. I shall learn to face these underlying problems in life. Those uncertainties. Those challenges.

I believe she has inspired many others in different ways. She will always be remembered by many, may it be her courage, her smile, her kindness or just herself. May God grant her family the strength to endure this time of grief. To my dear friend, you will always be remembered  in prayers. Rest in peace.

Getaway

I just finished my last examination paper for my degree years and I am having my final year project presentation coming right up two days from now.

Will be only leaving West Malaysia only on the 14th May and I am thinking what should I do for such a long period? I need a getaway, a break from everything. Was thinking of Penang? Or Singapore again? Or if I naik gila... I might just end up in Australia? Lol. Kalau la duit itu banyak, tidak payah fikir banyak kan? Heeeee...

Drama

It is a sunny Saturday out there today. I am stuck in my room trying to study for my upcoming midterm paper this upcoming Monday. My last midterm paper, sob sob >.<"

Anyway, my life has been pretty dramatic lately. Indeed it is interesting to watch tv drama or other's drama but it is not fun at all being inside the drama. Things were just so complicated everywhere and everything just happened at the same time, not to mention the wrong time.

During this period, people hurt each other and got hurt somewhere along the line, whether they were intentionally or unintentionally. On my behalf, I seek for forgiveness from those who were involved for those pain caused. I know, we are all trying to be the best that we can but things just ain't easy as it seems. Things just get out of control sometimes. However, please do know that I have never pointed my fingers to anyone all this time because I know neither of us wanted things to turn out this way. No one is to be blamed in anything because it takes both hands to clap.

For now, I would like to put everything aside as I need to get back on track. I have been slacking off for too long. Everything was pending because I was so caught up in the drama. Give me a break please. I need to breathe. Many thanks to those who were there with me when all of these were just so hard to take in. Just when I thought I was alone, I was proven wrong. The little things in life sometimes do make major differences in life. Hugs.

With the hope tomorrow will be a better day, I just can't wait for everything to be over. I know, for better or worse, this whole drama will eventually be something I would laugh over one day later.

Love,
B

TAM

"... Furthermore the word is Arabic, and is thus common to all the peoples, cultures and societies where Arabic - in all its dialects - is spoken, and is understood by millions of Arabic speakers to mean God, and little else. ..."

Source: Click *here*

Confession of A Shopaholic

I am Brenda.

I am a shopaholic.
In three days time, I 'harvested' quite a number of stuff from the malls.

Oh Sg. Wang,
Oh Times Square,
Oh Midvalley,
How I hate thee for emptying my pockets,
How I hate thee for those urges of getting the things,
You made me hate and love thee at the same time.

My goodies. Harvesting is fun and painful at the same time.

Started with one slipper one day.
Ended up with additional of 3 heels 2 slippers another day.

My new loves.

I heart this the most. Item of the week :D
Mind my fat leg please >.<

I feel Rebecca Bloomwood from the movie Confession of A Shopaholic now.
Therefore, again, I am Brenda and I am a shopaholic.

Absent Minded

*Her brain has not been functioning well recently.

*She has been having empty brain when she is not suppose to be since there is still another mid term paper tomorrow (Monday) afternoon for her Algebra Structure subject.

*She has been so absent minded that she were WAY TOO PUNCTUAL ---->>>> TWICE, TWO DAYS IN A ROW namely Saturday and Sunday.

Saturday
***********
Her friend de Tuna wanted to go church earlier than we usually do for sunset mass. Her intention was to go for sacrament of reconciliation. Usually, these girls (de Tuna and de Starfish) will leave in the campus with the blue 5993 around 6.30pm. Around 5.00pm, de Starfish was all ready to go and she went down to de Tuna's room.

Tuna was shocked with the response, "Awal juga ko makcik."
Starfish answered, "Eh, bukan jam 5 ko cakap tadi."
Tuna replied back, "PUKUL 5.50 la makcik"......

*sigh*

Sunday
*********
Previously on Friday night, de Starfish received a sms telling her to get ready by 7.00am at the bus stop down her dormitary. On Saturday night, de Starfish and Tuna was discussing whether to go Kajang Holy Family Church with the arranged transport or to go with the blue 5993. Discussion ended with sms that sounds like this: "Owkay. I tell Mark then." Before going to sleep that Sunday EARLY MORNING, de Starfish set her alarm to 6.30am since she has to be ready by 7.00am. She then woke up that Sunday morning and get ready since she was told to be punctual. She was looking at the time, tangan panjang jam menunjukkan 12 sudah. Quickly rushed down to de Tuna's room only to find she is not ready yet.

Tuna looked at Starfish and said the same thing again, "Awal juga ko ni. Jam 7 bah."
Starfish answered, "Not 7 already ka this??...." *looking at the watch*
Tuna answered back, "Baru jam 6 bah ni. Bingung juga ko."

*sigh*

=========================================================
Notes to people who are not the sea creatures:
Starfish refers to Brenda. Tuna refers to Connie.

P/S: I didn't mentioned that I forgot to lock my room door, did I? Oh yeah. I slept with unlocked door last night. Not only that, I was worried that my room will be wet due to the heavy rain last night around 3 am thinking that my window was not closed but I was just too lazy to shut it In the morning, I found out that my window was properly shut and my door was unlocked. Terbalik pula. OMG. I think the MSG in the 4 packets of maggie in a week is making me stupid. I am not going to stock my instant noodles anymore. Enough. Lets eat healthy now, though it might be too late to realise that now since tomorrow's paper is already the last paper.

UPDATED 15/09/09
Please change all the 'starfish' in the context to 'crabby' please. Brenda is the 'crabby', Stephanie is the 'starfish'. This shows how absent minded I am again. =.=||||

PPSM Faculty Night

Last night was the Faculty Nite a.k.a FACNITE of PPSM (Persatuan Pura-Pura Suka Matematik) (Pusat Pengajian Sains Matematik). For your information, PPSM is the the School of Mathematical Science of UKM where all the maths geeks gather and take up a degree in a field where most people HATE, DISLIKE, DESPISE, BOIKOT our core field - MATHEMATICS. We all consist of people taking up 3 courses that are offered in this school namely Mathematics, Statistics and Actuarial Science. Every term, we have a prom night organized by the chinese students of this school where everyone get together and have fun.

This year, the theme of the night was "Let It Shine". Everyone dressed their best to look their best except for some people of course *cough*LiMei*cough*. Instead of having the dinner in hotel ballroom like the previous years, it was held in a restaurant in Semenyih.

Janbo Restaurant

We all went together in 3 cars everyone didn't know the way there. The only thing that showed us the direction was ONE SINGLE MAP. I was the passenger in Ling Fong's car. Even before we were out of UKM, Ling Fong lost the other two cars from sight. Memang fail la ni tailgate skill.

In the car was Jac, Me, Fion, Wan Ting and the driver Ling Fong

Upon arrival camera started clicking already.

These are the food that were served last night. It was all good except for the fish. The restaurant was smart enough to cut the whole fish into 2 pieces and throw the whole thing into the soup yang hanyir. Memang fail la ni masak ikan. The fish was served in a claypot which was heated by the mini stove. For one moment, I thought the course switched to steamboat @_@. Besides the fish, we had the Hot & Cold Dishes (jellyfish, otak-otak, scrambled egg with shark's fin, oyster), Fish Maw + Shark's Fin Soup, Duck Braised in Sweet Sauce, Chicken Coooked with Peanuts, Garlic Prawns, Mushrooms, Dumpling, Pancakes, and some sweet dessert. All chinese dishes, the typical dishes you find in wedding dinner. I have to say, for the price we paid, it was all worth it. Shark's fin man~ NO JOKE....though it might be the fake one la hehehe!


Then let me introduce my fellow coursemates from left to right, up to down. =D One missing though cuz she didn't attend the dinner - Sue Ping.

Starting with Yi Sheng, Sam, Kian Yoong, May, Angel, Sin Wei, Alvin, Jac, Shook Yi, Leon, Ling Fong. I apologise for the picture with Shook Yi being different from the rest. I just realised I didn't have individual photo with her, so I guess she deserves bigger space hehehe. Soli soli!!


Coming right up are people from different courses - Statistics and Actuarial Science.

Left to right and up to down again : Hean Hui, Ching Shuang, Chau Sen, Yong Feng, Wan Ting, Yong Fok.

The Fac King and Fac King during my year.
Fac King = Prom King and Fac Queen = Prom Queen

This is my partner, Ah Loke, when I was the candidate during my first year. An interesting fact for you people outside of PPSM. My partner and I share the same birthday with the difference of twelve months though - he is a year younger than me.

For the whole night, flashes from camera came from all direction. EVERYONE including myself was camwhoring with their phones and cameras. Vain people =D My battery which just charges went flat by the end of the night.


The last shot of the night was a group photo of all the final year students of PPSM.
Spot me spot me!!! =P

After dinner, we wanted to hangout somewhere else since the night was still young. Someone proposed to watch 'The Proposal' but the last show started 11.55pm (it was 11.45pm then). Everyone refused to go mamak since everyone was dressed up for red carpet as if we were going for Grammy Awards. Teehee~ I am just exaggerating. Fikir punya fikir, we decided to go back home. *sob sob*

Everyone hopped into the car we all came in with earlier. I was in Ling Fong's car, remember? I can tell you, the girl is one "good" driver. Though fast and scary, her driving is rather stable - except when she was lost the second time of the night. Instead of taking the left turn, she took the right turn. We went opposite direction of home. When we all realised that we were lost cuz of the unfamiliar roads, we were looking for a U-turn. Up in front, we were stuck in a jam. 12 midnight. We were all complaining about the jam when we realized there is a road block in front that caused all the jam. When it was our turn, we were asked to stop by the side. Ling Fong stopped the car further in front and the police wanted to chase us already (he thought we were running away).

In the car.

Police: Tolong keluarkan lesen.
*Ling Fong took out her driving license and passed it to the policeman*
Police: Minte pasport.
*Everyone kebingungan - PASSPORT!!!!??!*
Police: Keluarkan IC. [changed his mind]
*Everyone took out IC except for Fion who didn't bring her IC out*
Police: Yang tepi tu, tolong keluar dari kereta. [pointing at Wan Ting]
*Wan Ting who was sitting next to the driver's sit got down after a minute or two - she got stuck for don't know what already. Wan Ting thought he wanted to test if she was drunk. Now that I think of it, if any test should be conducted, isn't it the driver who should be test? =P He started searching around the car with his mini torchlight - dashboard, Ling Fong's car seat that looked weird. *
Brenda: Encik, cari ape ni?
Police: Mane tau ade ape-ape ke.....

*He continued searching*

Police: Nak pergi mane ni?
Brenda: Baru balik dari function.
Police: Patutlah pakai macam ni... Kerje mane?
Brenda: Huh?? Kerje??? Ktaorang pelajar la...
Police: Pelajar? Kat mane??...
Brenda: UKM... kat Bangi

*He continued searching and was pointing his torchlight at the rear seats. Tersuluhlah our kaki-kaki sekalian*

Police: Tak nak tengok kaki-kaki awak semue ni. Nanti kena complain....

*After a while of searching, he decided to quit. Since we were lost, I decided to ask for direction. Kan malu bertanya, sesat jalan.*

Ling Fong: Encik, macam mane nak balik UKM?
Police: Jalan lurus saje, pas tu U-turn balik ke Kajang. Kena pergi Kajang dlu tau. Jangan jalan depan tu, semue hutan je tu...
Everyone: Terima kasih encik!

And so we followed the instruction and went back home. On the way back, we received a phone call from the bunch of the other cars. McDonalds!! And so our session continued in McDonalds PKNS Bangi. After some chit-chating and food, everyone went back with perut yang kenyang.

Last but not least, Ling Fong missed the junction going back to UKM again. Her third time. So a journey that usually take 5 minutes turned to to be around 15 minutes. Hooray for Ling Fong. You are officially awarded with the Lousiest Sense of Direction Award~~~!!! (though the passengers should take the fault for not paying attention on the road also la... hehehe)

Thanks to her sense of direction that led us to the road block, it was my first time being stopped and checked by police during a road block. He must have thought that we are GRO from China with the tone "Patutlah pakai camni...". Plus, what is up with the searching of the car if he didn't suspect that we bring illegal stuff like drugs?? LOL!! Thinking back, it is indeed pretty hilarious. Conclusion made - Ling Fong deserves the award of "Best Driver with Lousy Sense of Direction Award". Still love you though... THANKS FOR THE RIDE =D

I Am A Type Of Blood

The blood that is running through my body is A type =P

I went for blood donation last Tuesday (4th August 2009). I was feeling generous with my blood. Hehe~~

My red warm blood going around my hand.

This is my second time donating anyway. My first time donating was more than a year ago which was early last year. I fainted that time. Thinking back, it was rather funny cause I pretty much created a scene there >.< *shy* with people layan-ing me like I was the princess. LOL!

This time I learned my lesson so that I shall not humiliate myself again. I decided that I shall take more rest after the donation.

And I did.

But the same thing happened to me minus the fainting part. I was so weak and dizzy after I started taking a few steps after the donation. I could barely take any step further. I practically crawled walked to the nearest bench near me WHICH WAS UNDER THE HOT SUN where everyone that passed by gave the what-a-weird-girl-sleeping-under-the-hot-glaring-sun look. I can't be bothered at that moment. I was having cold sweat, spinning head along with SUPER WEAK body.

Luckily one of the person in charge there spotted me and I was brought to rest. I was told that I look pale. I didn't realise I fell asleep for 30 minutes while resting. When I gained my conciousness back, it was 4.30 pm and I have class at 5 pm. I figured it is time to walk to class.

I was feeling better as I was walking to the lecture hall before I started feeling weak again. I had to stop again. My friend, Gloria, that was passing by saw me resting on the bench again, with a pale look. Immediately, she called Connie. She told me to go back to my room but I insist on going for class though. I reached lecture hall sharp at 5 pm. A journey that usually takes 5 minutes turned to a journey of 30 minutes that day. At that moment, I thought to myself...

Should I continue to donate blood next time?
Does this mean that I am not meant to donate blood?

I would really want to donate but I really hate the weak feeling. It sucks. It really does. I realise this time was worse than the first time.

Effect of the blood donation?


Picture of the bruise above was taken three days after I donated my blood. Is it the nurse fault? Or is it my fault? If it is the nurse who didn't know how to poke that huge needle into the correct place, I can tell you this nurse is WAY BETTER than the nurse that attended me during my first time donating as my bruise then was A LOT BIGGER and WORSE than this.

Still thinking if I should donate again next time especially after someone telling me that donating blood makes donor fatter since blood donation increases food apetite with the new cell growth. After all, the weakness feeling is only temporary compared to the pain bear by those who needs MY blood =D