Saturday, July 10, 2010

Dedication For You

7th July was the date I boarded the plane back to Kuala Lumpur to settle my registration for my master in UKM. My itinerary stated my flight departs at 6.05am and I was in the airport way earlier, say 5.10am. I was so sleepy due to the lack of sleep from the late night. No, I was not watching FIFA World Cup of Uruguay VS Netherlands match. I couldn't sleep that night as I was tossing myself on the bed, up and down, left and right. I was afraid with the uncertainties ahead of me. How will life turn out when I am back in UKM doing my master? I was already missing home that very moment. I was reluctant to board the plane that yet to board during that hour. 

And so, that Wednesday morning when I waited in the boarding hall while waiting for the announcement to board the plane bound for Kuala Lumpur. I reached out to my phone and logged into facebook just to update myself with statuses. I was shocked with one status that I instantly woke up from my drowsiness - the dismiss of a friend. What a day to kickstart my day! I was already expecting the worst of the day from the registration. The news definitely didn't make my day any better. The news was worse than the worst that I expected. That moment, the only thing that crossed my mind: Life is full of surprises. Life is full of uncertainties. 

I have known this girl for a couple of years. 3 years to be exact. It was three years ago when I entered one of my class that this girl sat next to me started talking to me. She was wearing a pink cap and she looks sweet in it. I wondered why was she wearing that cap but I didn't bother to ask why. We started talking and I found out that she was not the same age as the rest of us. She was a year older than my batch of coursemates. Again, I wondered but I didn't ask much. That was the day I met this wonderful girl. Apparently, she was postponed her study previously and she is continuing her study with us now. 

This same girl uses the same pink cap to class everyday. I noticed she had no hair underneath her cap and I figured she was sick. One day, I found out from other friends that she  has cancer. She had surgery to remove growth in her head and she uses the cap while waiting for her hair to grow back to cover the hole she has on her temples. During rare occasions, she uses wig and she looks so sweet and pretty. She had a very sweet smile. She was getting better and improving. Hair started to grow back and she looks like any other girl on the street. The greatest things I find in her would be her cheerfulness and helpful. She was the kind girl who would offer anyone any help, from giving you a ride to arranging the photocopying of textbooks for the entire class. Mind you. THE.WHOLE.CLASS. She wouldn't ask for anything extra nor expects anything in return. She is such a cheerful friendly girl that practically everyone is her friend.

As I entered the second year of my degree class, I see her less often due to the different classes we have (we are in two different courses). I didn't notice that she was not around the uni until a friend pointed it out that fact to me. I was then told that her health was deteriorating again and her condition got worse than before. Apparently, not many knew about it as she didn't want to worry anyone. She had to stop her study again. No updates about her were received until two days ago. I was not very close to her but she definitely showed me lots of things. I truly admired this girl. She was so strong and optimistic throughout the years of fighting her sickness. There were hidden struggles under those sweet smile she shares with us. 

Suddenly, I felt my problems or uncertainties are insignificant anymore. What are my worries compared to hers? What are my difficulties compared to hers? And many others in the world who has greater problems.  Life is full of surprises. Every now and then. Till this day, I still couldn't digest that news. Being young doesn't keep you away from death. I know I see news of young people dying everyday but it has never occur to anyone I knew. One thing for sure, her courage will be a true inspiration for those uncertainties ahead of me. I shall learn to face these underlying problems in life. Those uncertainties. Those challenges.

I believe she has inspired many others in different ways. She will always be remembered by many, may it be her courage, her smile, her kindness or just herself. May God grant her family the strength to endure this time of grief. To my dear friend, you will always be remembered  in prayers. Rest in peace.

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